Product Review - After Dark Intimates
After Dark Intimates sent me these products in exchange for an honest and fair review. This is not a sponsored post but it does contain affiliate links.
It’s rare that I’m faced with a product that I don’t have a solid point of reference for. I’ve used enough dildos, vibrators, floggers, bondage gear, etc that I can receive an item and make a judgement call within a matter of moments, but when After Dark Intimates sent me my review package I suddenly realised I didn’t know what I was looking for.
I first met the team from After Dark at Melbourne SEXPO in 2016, they were super sweet and gave a great demo, but I was flat out doing a million things in 7-inch heels and honestly dismissed the product as a “fancy baby wipes”. But after following them on social media for a few months, I was quite excited to open my parcel and found not only a packet of the wipes, but also a box of travel packets and a bottle of their Hemp Seed Massage Oil.
To address this apparent gap in my knowledge, and being a giant fucking nerd, I decided to do a month-long test of the wipes against what I logically saw as a dupe, antibacterial wipes from the chemist, and honestly I shocked myself a little bit.
- After Dark Intimate Wipes
- 100% Bamboo
- Aloe Vera Scent (Very Mild)
- PH Balanced
- Neutralizes Odours
- Alcohol Free
- Not Tested On Animals
- Two Sizes – 26pc x Regular Packet ($8.95) and 10pc Individually Wrapped Travel Box ($7.95)
- Hemp Seed Massage Oil
- Product of Australia
- 200ml Bottle ($14.95)
- Made by After Dark Intimate
This testing period lined up with a few things that allowed me to really give the product a try across of number of different circumstance: my first foray into full service escorting, a sex party, regular partner sex, a few hook ups, a mix of kinky and vanilla play, post-dance party sex and all manner of other debauchery.
So I decided that I would give the After Dark wipes and the antibacterial wipes two weeks each and then compare my notes (literal notes by the way, there’s a page in my journal dedicated to it). I started with the AD ones because they were more exciting…
I had no idea how often I would use them! Oh my god, it makes stuff so much easier! Clean up before I leave a booking, party or impromptu sleepover without having to shower? Done. Removing that bit of lint and dust silicone sex toys collect in my bags without having to dash for the bathroom? Done.
Tinder hook up is super into rimming but I didn’t think to do anal prep? Done.
And so many more…
The wipes themselves feel lovely. The smell is very neutral which I like a lot and they leave zero residue; plus they stay moist (but not wet) and are decently sized so you get great mileage per wipe. They’re antibacterial (but remember that this doesn’t mean anti-viral so if blood comes into play you’ll need isopropyl alcohol) but don’t feel harsh and as someone with very sensitive skin I didn’t experience any irritation or dying. The feedback I received from partners of all genital configurations was also positive and giving and receiving oral confirmed no trace or aftertaste. I also think the mostly black packaging is an underrated perk too, it feels as sexy as a moist towelette can. Overall, the After Dark wipes were kind of a game changer.
At the end of the two weeks I was curious to see how the ADI stacked up against the $4 pharmacy ones. I had a few dates and bookings lined up so I was all set for a fair test and I was interested to see if the benefits I was really excited about were just those of baby wipes…
But honestly, I tried them three times max and nope-d out.
The smell and feel was harsh. The residue was white and foamy and took ages to dissipate from toys and made my skin feel sticky. They dripped when I took them out of the packet and I found I hated offering clients and partners the bright garish packet. I just couldn’t continue with the second part of the experiment and went back to finish my packet of After Dark.
The After Dark wipes won out hands down for me. At almost $9 for 26 wipes, this is definitely a luxury product - using a cheaper chemist brand wipe will not harm you (though I suggest a patch test before using on your junk) and I’m sure you could shop around and find something less obnoxious than the ones I used - but I think it’s affordable enough that Lifestyle/Professional Sluts like myself can totally justify it. My pack lasted 5 or 6 weeks and I just ordered a bunch of replacements. Lucky for you, After Dark currently have 50% your cart with the code ’50sale’ so you can stock up for the new year. The individually-wrapped travel wipes fit perfectly in my safe sex kit too.
My review package also included a bottle of the After Dark Hemp Seed Massage Oil. The oil has a fresh grassy smell and comes out of the bottle with a green tinge which quickly dissipates with use. I love how it doesn’t get anywhere near as sticky as a lot of other massage oils I have used and leaves the skin feeling lovely.
While the smell isn’t particularly my vibe, I don’t consider it a negative, just a matter of taste. I offered this product as an oil option at my Celebrating Sexuality sensation play workshop and with clients it went down a treat. I think it’s a great alternative for those who don’t like more processed massage oils. Apparently it can also be used as a skin moisturiser, for anti-aging & eczema and as a hair and anti-dandruff treatment but I haven’t tested these claims.
This is a product that completely shifted my perspective. As someone who actively defaces ‘feminine cleansing’ advertisements on the reg, I had some feelings about reviewing a wipe; but nothing about this brand is shaming bodies for doing normal body stuff. Sometimes sex is messy and sometimes our bits aren’t in their optimum state when we want to get busy and I think this is a great solution. My only critique would be that the website is a bit dated and that the very binary language when the copy talked about gender (e.g. “males & females”) could be changed to “for all bodies” to make it more inclusive.